When I was about 18 years old, I had my first office job. I was so excited to have officially 'graduated' into a next level of my career I really wanted to feel important and have a desk. That was my biggest goal at that time in my life.
The main issue was: I didn't understand that having a desk was in no way a representation of being treated as an intellectual equal. My values on that were skewed.
After about two years in the role, I advanced from simply being a filing clerk. I moved into a role of office assistant. And then...drum role please: junior bookkeeper. I was enrolled in the local community college at the time. Dating the man who would later become my first husband and father to my children.
I knew nothing of the water cooler gossip. Or, how to stay away from it.
As time passed, that became a huge problem. One of the women in the office decided that I was either with her or against her in the office politics schematics. That woman was also my boss (the office manager).
I went home and told my dad that this woman had taken to bullying me as retaliation. I was frightened. I was ill equipped to stand up to her. I certainly didn't know how to avoid the mess that I got myself into.
My dad told me that bullies in the workplace exist no matter where you go, or what you do. We have to learn to deal with them. His mantra was that you simply don't feed into their energy. He also advised me to steer clear of office gossip and focus my energy on the work in front of me.
I quit that job against my dad's advice. As I left, the president of the company informed me that if I had simply come to him and let him know that I was having trouble - he would have stepped in to help. He told me that others had experienced similar problems. He felt he was losing good workers and had needed someone who would have stuck around to file a proper complaint.
Bullies suck. They are everywhere we go. In everything we do. The trick is always to not get tripped up in their antics.
People can be bullies for a number of reasons. It's possible they had a difficult childhood, or they are jealous, or they simply feel bad about their own abilities and skills. You never have to sink into that negativity.
Dad would say that you can hold your head high and focus on your own path. Dealing with difficult people will always be a lifelong struggle. Sure enough, they are always somewhere in the mix. Don't ever let them push you into quitting. You never know if there is someone out there who would benefit from your help by speaking up.
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